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Saturday, May 16, 2009

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I'm gonna write you a reply here coz obviously i cnt fit it in a sms.
So here goes:

What makes you think that I don't care about you? I do.
You said that you can see it through but u cnt coz I've been pretending for years, almost my whole life so I'm a good 'actress'. I can hide my feelings well. At first, I thought u and her would know it. I thought I've finally found two friends that truly understands me. Guess nt.
You're not alone. You have other ppl. I'm sorry that I wasn't there. I regret that. But u nvr reach out, that's the problem, same as me.
You were wrong, no one comforted me when I cried. Not even them, they saw me crying and just told me not to be mad or sad. They don't even know y i cried. THe real reason n I don't think you guys do too.
I've nvr thought that I would be better offwithout u. Well, actually I did before but that was when i thought that u think like dt too.
THe point is, people care about you, it's just that you don't know. I know u're pretending. SO what? I pretend too. I still cnt seem to find a way for me to stop pretending. It takes time to show my n ur true self. But if we keep pretending, the 'fake' us will become the 'real' us. You'll get so used to it that u won't even know it. I know it seems scary but i think it's just like a 'punishment' for us that don't show our true selves.
I'm still finding a way and so are you.
I'm still trying to know you which isn't as simple as i thought coz u are pretending and so am I.
If only we can be totally honest and 'real', it will be easier to figure out and understand each other and the other ppl around us.
Nvr think that you're alone. I know it hurts when you feel that way but the others around you will be hurt too. Coz they care about you but u cnt feel their caring and love. THey feel like they're nothing. Just like u said, they feel invisible, invisible to you.
I'm not mad at u. I'm mad at myself for not being honest all this time. It sucks. I know. I'm sorry if i wasn't there for you.

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